Thursday, April 16, 2009

A martyr - not proud of being one

I don't understand why until now he's still being irresponsible. We already have a kid, he's the man, he should be the one who's making a living, not me. How the heck can we save for the future of our daughter if he will just be like that forever. I cannot do these things just by myself. I need help, I need a partner - not a man who would just bum around watching TV, drink alcohol, ask money from me for his vices. A martyr? Yep, you can call me that, I really am. But i am not proud to be one.

I just can't live him like that. Maybe for the fact that there is this thing called "love" that I feel for him, but because I feel pity for this guy. He didn't come from a role model family, in fact, you would not dream of becoming a part of them. His dad - used to have a mistress (and maybe until now!), would always hit his children right away when they did something bad, his mom - dedicated her life to majhong and "tong-its", she can live in a casino for 2-3 days without taking a bath, changing her clothes, or even without thinking if her kids have already eaten.

Life.. :(